Oh, it’s been a long I haven’t write anything, and believe it or not I almost forget my password. Huh.. it is raining heavily; symbolizes of what I am feeling deep inside of my heart right now. It’s hard for me to cry out for what I have done to her. But seriously, I didn’t mean to do that. She is too special for me; she came into my life after I ended my last crush during my secondary school. She had shined my days, my life. She is gorgeous. In short, she is too perfect for me. Yes I love her. I am a human being, who has feeling and sense. I want to love and to be loved. As everyone knows that love is blind; but me? Sometimes I will be blind in appreciating the love. I’ve caused her so much emotional pain, and I’m scared to deem this as a teenage episode. I wish to take back all those times, the past that has hurt her so much to the present; I gave her disappointment and not treat her as meaningful as it should be. I used to express how sorry I was, but I knew I didn’t deserve her forgiveness; because I never change. And I think the word “sorry” seems useless. I know she was tired of telling me the things that I did that made her upset, and hoping that I wouldn’t do them anymore, when I continued to at my absentmindedness. When I mulled over on what I’ve done, perhaps this is the best solution, although it was incredibly painful. It does not mean that I am giving-up, but I don’t want her to be hurt again, because I love her. Life was not a bed of roses. I believed I will be hated by her friends, my friends or even everyone around me, and I’ll feel like shit. But it’s ok, I’m not a “fighter”, but a lover. I have been faced this many times in my life when people are eager to hold a long-lasting grudge instead of forgive me. On the other hand, grudges aren’t worth it to me. Of course, every situation is different, and sometimes people truly deserve a taste of their own medicine. One thing I want her to remember that, she still the one who is very special for me, and if you need someone to be with, I will always there for you. And trust me, with God’s Will, we will be together someday. I have to admit that there is a tiny part of me that holds out hope. I’m so sorry; I can’t be perfect for you. If you found someone who is better than me, grab “it”. Because who knows “it” could make you life more wonderful than previously.